‘Twas days before Christmas, when all through the formerly organized house,
every child was stirring, hopefully without louse — yes, tea tree oil works.
SUVs were swerving in the Target parking lot without care,
in hopes the discounted Keurig Brewing System still would be there.
Shoppers were frantic and needing anti-anxiety meds,
while visions of cocktails danced in their heads.
And Mama in her Lululemon with her pink yoga mat,
got stuck in a long line at JuiceLand, so she unwillingly sat.
When stopped in traffic on 620 and cursing a red light,
she looked in the mirror and discovered a fright.
Her polish was not shiny, her eyebrows unplucked,
she needed a nail salon ASAP or else she’d be…uhm, er…unhappy.
With a new Tropix shellac manicure and beautifying done,
Mama still made it to her RIDE class for an hour of fun.
Whilst her FitBit was tracking steps galore,
she re-checked her lengthy shopping list just to be sure.
“I’ve been to Target, to Dillard’s, to Gatsby’s and Fab’rik,
to Adorn and The Home Depot and sporting goods of Dick.
I’ve hit James Avery, Learning Express, Loft and Old Navy,
I picked up a Big Green Egg at BBQ Outfitters — it’s all gravy!”
And then, in a twinkling, her stress level felt fine,
Christmas shopping was done, it’s time for boxed wine!
She jetted to H-E-B for a few final eats,
Pirate’s Booty puffs for the kids and for the dog, beef jerky treats.
“I’m so over Elf on the Shelf,” she mused as she crawled into bed,
with visions of the Lake Travis championship dancing in her hubby’s head.
She tiredly exclaimed with her best holiday cheer,
“There’s no @#ing way we’re doing this again next year! I’m serious. This is ridiculous.”
From Lake Travis Lifestyle to you — the LT peeps we’ve befriended,
we send you wishes of health, happiness, and joy (even though high school football season has ended).
May your Yeti be monogrammed and your barre classes make you shake,
Because life is good out here by the lake.